Terrible terrible mental health

So, turns out that the downside of recovering from severe burnout is that once you start feeling better you also start noticing how messed up you are. Like, the last 4 years I've pretty much been coasting on adrenaline with occasional crashes when my immune system shut down and left me with a 2-3 week long flue from hell. But now...now I feel physically fine, but I get these mental breaks. We're talking full blown panic attacks, me spending a whole week hyperventilating and crying the nights away for no reason.

Well, not for "no" reason. Just...burnout man, it's a hell of a drug. I hope I get to sleep this week.

I'm still happy to be getting better, though. I feel fine when the 'attacks' aren't happening and even when they're on-going I don't feel sad it's only uncanny and unsettling. Just wanted ya'll online people to know (and remind myself) why I go MIA now and then without warning. Sorry for all the conversations I've left half-finished! Will do my best to pick them up when my brain allows.