Terrible terrible mental health

[nonesensed]

So, turns out that the downside of recovering from severe burnout is that once you start feeling better you also start noticing how messed up you are. Like, the last 4 years I've pretty much been coasting on adrenaline with occasional crashes when my immune system shut down and left me with a 2-3 week long flue from hell. But now...now I feel physically fine, but I get these mental breaks. We're talking full blown panic attacks, me spending a whole week hyperventilating and crying the nights away for no reason.

Well, not for "no" reason. Just...burnout man, it's a hell of a drug. I hope I get to sleep this week.

I'm still happy to be getting better, though. I feel fine when the 'attacks' aren't happening and even when they're on-going I don't feel sad it's only uncanny and unsettling. Just wanted ya'll online people to know (and remind myself) why I go MIA now and then without warning. Sorry for all the conversations I've left half-finished! Will do my best to pick them up when my brain allows.

Comments

[schneefink]

Recovery is not linear, but it sounds like you're moving in the right direction :) All the best.

[nonesensed]

Thanks! And yeah, I'm definitely getting better - it's just frustrating to have the "set-backs". Hope you're having a great day/week!